(28) Choice

"The function of religious life is to make obedience to the highest
law visible...Obedience, in other words, depends on choice.
Obedience is a criteria for personal determinations, not a set of
rules for living...institutionalized. Who can possibly admire religious
robots...Only choice makes witness real. Only choice makes growth
real. Only choice makes virtue real. For religious life to be real,
we must all beware of anything that makes choice suspect and
maturity a sham."
[Joan Chittister, O.S.B., THE FIRE IN THESE ASHES: A
SPIRITUALITY OF CONTEMPORARY RELIGIOUS LIFE.,
Sheed & Ward, 1995, p. 135.]

Comment: A former Benedictine prioress, Sister Joan fully
recognizes the plight of religious orders in her book cited above.
It's the old story about dwindling numbers and advancing age in
the monasteries and priories. However, this particular book
addresses new ways that might revitalize religious life. As I read
through it, I saw that many of the ideas that Sister Joan advances
might be really valuable for those monastically inclined who live
outside the walls.

The one tidbit I chose for this post is about *choice.* Really, as a
mature adult, just about everything we do boils down to choice.
Our decisions determine how we live, how we interact with the world,
how we forge our own life, etc.

Once a friend provided an analogy about choice. She said that what
we choose is like a toboggan ride. We make our choice at the top of
the run, and there's no changing it until we have arrived at the end of
the run. Perhaps true up-to-a point, though I believe occasionally
there is a chance to make a correction. When thinking about that
analogy, I kind of got scared. If we paused to ponder such, some of
us just might be paralyzed to choose anything at all. That's probably
why many of us don't think before we make a choice. Me? I'm oft
guilty as charged.

Again, maybe just my opinion, but within the Benedictine world or
in its tradition, there are factors that can lead the monastic to mature
and grow towards making evenly balanced choices. The structure
is there but we can't always guarantee the "chooser." There's that
old monastic maxim about "falling down, getting up--over and over."
As much as we might wish over the thought of perfection, it's never
quite a reality.

Still, as Sister Joan puts, there are "religious robots" who perhaps
adhere too much to blind obedience. Let the Boss or the Abbot be
the grown-up Father, if you will. Don't think, just do. Still there is a
necessity lurking behind all this business, when it comes to
obedience within the monastery. Sometimes the Abbot or Prioress
need be obeyed for the greater good of the monastic community.
Again--choice--a determination need be made about obedience.

Of course my interest about obedience and choice, as Sister Joan put,
is from the perspective outside the monastery, beyond the walls, out in
the world. The milieu is totally different. Lots of diversity, lots of calls
towards obedience that are not necessarily to be honored. Hitler
demanded obedience, and so do gang leaders. So right off, the
question begs to whom/Whom are you obedient --especially if you
are monastically oriented?

Maybe being out-in-the-world can make one more tough-minded.
That's oft been my case. In the end, I try to discern the action of the
Holy Spirit in/upon my life and, from such, attempt to be obedient to
its Call. This can be a treacherous undertaking, in that being human
I can really make some big mistakes. And I have! Discernment, in
itself, is not easy--but finally I have narrowed down my discernment,
my choices, perhaps in the most simplistic way.

I view the outcome of my choices, when it comes to obedience. More
than I would like to admit, I have had hit Brick Walls. Hence my choice
hurts me--maybe even others--and the more I insist on "my way, well
the more painful my given road becomes. On the other hand, I have
experienced Open Doors wherein I breezed through when it came to
my discernment and subsequent choice. Going for the Positive just
makes common sense! Or, as St. Paul once inferred, you can know
what's right from the fruit of your labor.