(38) Seeking God

Today--the Third of September--is a special day for me. No
need for details, only to remember generally how it all started
after I walked into a monastery one fine day. Like any human
endeavor, there were issues. But now years away, perhaps
viewing through a more mature prism, I am remembering far
more the good cheer and even adventures I experienced
"Seeking God."

It's a major mandate of the Benedictines, trying to find God
in the world, in your own life. When an oblate novice, I
worked through the Rule, through other Benedictine manuals,
figuring I would find God doing this. At the time, I felt
unsteady. Finally, nearly unconsciously, following my own
nature, I drifted into seeking God via study--serious study
with the Jesuits, of all people!

I have to give praise where praise is due. The Jesuits provided
me with intellectual adventure when it came to seeking God.
No apologies, but I found that my God queries were actually
fun!

God took my life, spinned me about, threw new ideas and
perspectives my way, made me think more deeply, and even
pushed me to travel. I sought beyond the books the places
where one might find God's footprints. I spent time in Israel,
following the life of Jesus as well as I could. Later I island
jumped, tracing the steps of St. Paul, finally ending at the
Hagia Sophia where I stood mezmerized by the Pantocrator
at the Emperor's Entrance.

Beyond this, I looked towards God anew--studying the
spirituality of the Red Road. Again, the need for the
physical touch, visiting the great parklands of the American
West where the indigenous People raised their arms in praise
and prayer towards the Great Spirit.

Over time I have written stories, little essays like this,
documenting my experience. So where has this "experience"
brought me, one may ask? Base-line, it has made me
immensely grateful that God came into my life. God
"fits" one's nature, in my view, and asks that one be
honest, going Due North, if you will.

As for my soul development, well if I hadn't walked into
that monastery that day so long ago, I would have to wonder
where I might be in life. As it stands, I am glad who I have
become, who I am.

As for seeking God, well I am grown-up enough to know
that God is a Mystery, far and beyond any of our human
concepts, yet *with us.* I cannot claim that I am perfectly
God possessed, meeting other's standards, but I can claim
some semblance of integrity when it comes to my love of
God. I just love more and more seeking God, in more and
more different ways!