(43) Spiritual Authenticity

"The important thing, always, is that our experience in the
spiritual life be authentic."
[Jean-Marie Howe, OCSO, THE MONASTIC WAY, St. Bede's
Publications, 1989, p. 12.]

Comment: At the time of publication, Sr. Jean-Marie was the
abbess of a Trappistine abbey in Canada.

I certainly agree with her sentence, quoted above. But what
can I say about "spiritual authenticity"? It's like saying that every
one is different. Yes, there are communal environments behind
the walls, but definitely in these places there's still differences in
approach. And beyond the walls, our spiritual differences are
surely up front in our lives. We might read books about any
given monastic tradition, we might try hard to live by rote the
rules and regulations of a monastic system, but in the end we
have to face our own spiritual experience. And if we don't, well
I suspect down the road we will be in for some pain.

As for myself, well I felt the pain before I finally decided to get
on track with my own life's experience. And I hate to admit it,
but I was (and still am) a dreadfully slow learner.

But one thing that I have finally learned is that the Spirit will
keep knocking at your door, demanding that you follow
through authentically--or sometimes playing, when you enter
into its flow, providing a good sense of enthusiasm for any
"right" effort.

Sometimes when I am at peace with myself, I wonder why the
Spirit provides so many different ways for us to follow. Some
go inward, some lead an active life, and some (like the
Benedictines) strive towards balance when it comes to the
art of authentic living.

I guess we have to learn our way through. It can take a lot of
time and keen observation when it comes to figuring what
the Spirit may be asking in our life. Me? Well I still am not
sure I am on the right path. It's only with a smattering of
hindsight that I can see more clearly. It's just the Present--
and occasionally the Future--where I oft feel unsure.

Not speaking for others, but I seem to go through phases.
That's natural, I suppose, especially if you live long enough.
Indeed I have grown beyond even the development theories
put forth by academics and spiritual directors. We surprised
them by living longer.

Regardless, the Spirit doesn't stop prodding. At least that's my
experience! I guess we have our duty, our calling, right up to
our last breath. And the quicker we can move from spiritual
rote to spiritual authentic, the better off we will be! And who
knows, but this process might portend a much larger story
than our own.