(21) Ancient Anchor

"Faith is a going out of ourselves, a journey towards the only
goal that can rightly call us out of ourselves, the living God."
[Alban Boultwood, O.S.B., CHRIST IN US: REFLECTIONS ON
REDEMPTION, the Liturgical Press, 1981, p. 101.]

Comment: I had occasion to meet the late Abbot Alban, who
at the time was retired. He was born almost a hundred years
ago, and he was the epitome of the traditional Benedictine monk.
Hence his book reflects his traditional perspective, which is
a very devoted and pious perspective. When I knew him, I
wasn't "where he was" as a traditionally oriented person. Still
he was kind and gentle, and I responded to his beautiful
Benedictine soul with great respect.

My "faith" has taken me elsewhere, even though I have oft
prayed that I could have a traditional sense of faith like Abbot
Alban. He was a monk most of his adult years, whereas I
traipsed around the world, enmeshed deep in the problems
of this often disturbed world. And I came from an investigative
milieu, based on information and analysis. So Abbot Alban
and I were almost like from two different planets--so I shouldn't
be surprised that our faith perspectives would differ, considerably.

But Abbot Alban was quite right to describe Faith as going out
of ourselves, as a journey whose goal was God. He was
talking about the great Benedictine mandate: To Seek God.

I can't remember the exact time of my own "calling," if you will.
But one day I didn't have faith, and the next day something within
me was spurring me on more towards a religious life. It was
the strangest situation, because I had spurned Religion most of
my years up to that point.

Without going into all the fine details, with hindsight--looking
back--I have to admit that after this strange calling, I experienced
years and years of wonderful adventures "seeking God." It's
just that I looked in different corners, following the paths that
I felt directed towards--by the Holy Spirit? I definitely think so,
because the Fruits of my Contemplation proved not only
insightful but also helpful in terms of my own spiritual growth.

Over the years I have found the elements, the infrastructure of
the Benedictine Tradition very helpful to me personally. I was
like a sailor sailing around the globe, pulling into many ports of
call, looking for that Greater Truth that stands behind all of it.
Need I say that I have only found glimpses, but what I did see
proved profound.

I like to say that I sail on my good ship "Benedictine." It's a
worthy metaphor, because it provides stability in rough waters,
it provides obedience to a good Captain that points the way,
it provides a haven for reflection and personal growth, and
it provides a platform of Tradition upon which I can draw, even
as I plough around in new territories, visiting really different
ports of call.

So though I see myself holding a non-traditional sense of Faith,
I honor that ancient traditional anchor--as personified by that
old monk I once knew, the late Abbot Alban.